In the early fog-filled hours of Tuesday morning, we said a heartfelt goodbye to Indie, our most enthusiastic eater and taste-tester here in the Vintage Kitchen.
I wanted to share this news not to spread sorrow and grief out into the world, but to share the story of her last three months, most particularly with our readers who found her homemade dog food recipes so helpful. Through the blog, quite by surprise, Indie developed a large fanbase of pet parents and cooks excited to try their hand at making the homemade dog food recipes we wholeheartedly championed throughout her life.
I wanted to say a special thank you to everyone for their enthusiasm in embracing our enthusiasm of this natural way of feeding pets. It’s such a comfort to know that her most favorite recipe, and now her most famous recipe – the chicken one-pot – has been shared tens of thousands of times and hopefully enjoyed by tens of thousands of dogs. From one gourmand to another, joy spreads joy. Especially when talking about food.
I also wanted to share this news to celebrate Indie, the remarkable dog that she was, and the enthusiasm she always had for life, a character trait that was especially compelling during these last few months. It was very inspirational. She was very inspirational. And I thought her infectious personality and her joyful zest despite challenging health issues might bring some encouragement to anyone else going through a difficult time. Life isn’t always easy but it’s much more palatable, and ultimately much more rewarding, as I learned from Indie, when approached first and foremost with appreciation and joy.
At the end of June, Indie was diagnosed with an enlarged heart. As you can see from the photo above she approached this news on that day at the vet’s office with nothing more than her typical enthusiasm and happy attitude. Yes! I have a big heart! I love big hearts!
My husband and I, on the other hand, were much more alarmed at this news. I immediately panicked and asked if the cause was her homemade diet. Did we feed her too much olive oil? Sprinkle too much cheese? Was this spurned on by that extra helping of grass-fed beef filet that she ate last Christmas? Our vet quickly put my fears to rest by saying absolutely not and reiterating time and again in our consultation how homemade food is always the best choice as far as meal plans go for any dog. There was nothing to worry about with Indie when it came to what she was eating.
Physically, nothing looked wrong with Indie, but we brought her into the vet that day because she had developed a persistent cough which was beginning to make her breathy and unsteady after she ran around the yard. We thought it might be allergies, or a summer cold or at worst that she somehow had contracted kennel cough. We thought the vet might be able to recommend a Chinese herb that would set her straight again. Cough aside, there was no other information to give to the vet that June day. She was all smiles. Her coat was soft and shiny. Her eyes were bright and animated. She was eating. She was exercising. She was living her normal life.
So to hear this new news of her big heart – one that was 1/3 the size larger than it should be – just didn’t make sense. How could this be? She looks so healthy. She looks so happy.
From the very beginning, when Indie first came into our lives, she was full of joy. She showed up randomly on a hot, humid holiday afternoon running into our yard in Georgia on July 4th, 2014. Carrying all the exuberance of a lively guest come late to a party, she had an excited, relieved, thank-god-I’m-finally-here energy that she carried straight into the welcoming arms of my nephew and I. Greeting us with such a profound intensity, like long-lost friends finally reunited, the moment I met her I knew something magical was amiss.
Two years earlier, our wonderful black and white border collie, Hanna, passed away. Smart, calm, loyal, and very sweet, we had adopted Hanna from a shelter in Newark, New Jersey shortly after my husband and I first began dating. With Hanna by our side, we got married, traveled the entire East Coast, developed and filmed a travel show, moved to the South, opened a farmers market, and launched what would eventually morph into the Vintage Kitchen. We spent fourteen incredible years with her through multiple moves, through her life-long seizures, through her canine mayor status, through New York City life, through rural Southern country life, and through more travels around the country than most dogs ever have the opportunity to explore. When she died from old age in 2012, it was the biggest grief I had known to date and I missed her presence in my life in a way that seemed forever ongoing.
Two years later and now living in a different area in Georgia, I not only still missed Hanna terribly but I also missed that wonderful feeling of having a dog in my life. I was ready to adopt a new one. My husband on the other hand, considered Hanna to be the very best (as she really was) and couldn’t conceive of ever having another dog in his life. For him, nothing else could possibly compare to her and he felt that it was unfair to ever hope for that same sort of love from another dog again. So here we were, my husband and I, at a crossroads. Me wanting a dog, he not. It was the first time we were ever at a major misalignment in our normally very compatible way of looking at the world. I understood where he was coming from. Hanna was extraordinary. But I couldn’t shake this feeling of wanting another dog. Occasionally I would broach the subject, hoping that his thoughts might change or his heart would come around, but each time I found him still holding fast to his original thoughts.
So when Indie showed up randomly in our yard in 2014 I couldn’t believe it. Literally. I could not believe it. Not only was she also a black and white dog with brown eyes that looked almost exactly like our beloved Hanna, but she had Hanna’s same friendly personality too. I just couldn’t believe that this thing that I missed, that I longed for quite a bit of time would just show up. I couldn’t believe that on a street with many different houses to choose from and many different lives to walk into that she picked ours. Was it destiny? Was it a sign from Hanna? Was she Hanna? Right from the beginning, Indie, to me, felt like this extraordinary gift.
Indie retained that magical ta-dah energy, that excitement, that visible sense of unbridled joy that she displayed on day one throughout her entire life. My husband and I called it her yes personality. Whatever situation was in front of her… good or bad, scary or uncomfortable, familiar or new she approached it with an enthusiastic YES! With the exception of thunderstorms and motorcycles and the automatic table lift at the vet, there was nothing that Indie wouldn’t embrace wholeheartedly with joyful enthusiasm. So to get this news that she had an enlarged heart, in a strange way seemed almost obvious. All that joy had to fit somewhere. So absolutely. A big heart. Of course.
From a medical standpoint, there were a few different possibilities that could have been the root cause of her situation. She could have been born with a big heart and it just never presented any problems until now. She could have been predisposed to this condition based on her genetic makeup. Or her heart simply could have just grown bigger as a result of her age, a malady that is not that uncommon in senior dogs.
Alarming as all this news was, there was hope that this big-hearted situation could be managed. The cough was caused by fluid buildup in her heart and in her lungs. Medication would remove the fluid and enable her heart to operate more efficiently so that she could live a normal life. With the meds, and a few lifestyle changes that included a calm home environment and little to no stress, she in theory could manage to live with this heart disease for years if everything could be kept under control.
While heart disease is a degenerative condition, there is no way to know how it will affect certain dogs or how long they can live with such an issue. Despite Indie’s happy attitude, the vet told us in a very sobering conversation, that dogs with heart disease like hers could live as little as weeks or as long as years. It just depended, dog by dog, breed by breed. Luckily in Indie’s case other than her big heart, she was as healthy as an ox. Thanks in large part to her homemade diet.
Indie is an English Shepherd, the most common breed found in America in the 1800s. Especially prized back then because they were reliable, smart, observant, quick learners, and adaptable to a wide range of situations, English Shepherds were ideal dogs for early American farm life. They were good working dogs, good guard dogs, good with kids, teachable, independent, loyal, respectful of other animals, and made of hearty stock. As a general all-around helper and family dog all wrapped up in one, they share many similar traits with Border Collies and Australian Shepherds and often get mixed up between the two. Typically given their medium size and medium weight, English Shepherds traditionally live between 12-15 years. When Indie was diagnosed in June she was just a few weeks away from her 11th birthday, so we were hopeful. Hopeful that she would be a long-hauler of this disease, easily able to adapt to this new situation for a few more years and live out her natural course of life.
Armed with optimism and five different medications to be taken daily, Indie was sent home with two instructions – no running and no stress for the entire summer. If she encountered either, she could potentially collapse and that would be that. The end. Right then and there. Her diet was to stay exactly as it was with no changes except to incorporate more carbs if possible. She was allowed to have 15 minutes of outdoor time each day for exercise and bathroom breaks, but that was it. This homebound summer-of-calm plan would give her heart a chance to rest and get used to the medication routine. Then we would reevaluate in the fall.
With her traditional good nature and easy adaptability to comply with whatever situation presented itself, Indie fell right in step with Slow Summer from week one. Apart from not being able to run after the squirrels she didn’t mind being walked on a leash for her 15 minutes each day and she didn’t mind spending time indoors away from the summer heat. To keep things interesting we made her a play area with lots of toys, kept her gourmand appetite engaged with daily culinary taste testings, and encouraged frequent napping so that she could rest her heart and get over her cough.
Knowing that we would need to cancel and rethink much of our summer plans including road trips, outdoor water activities, and any 1750 House renovations that required loud noises or unfamiliar tradesmen in the house, this was going to be a much quieter summer than anticipated. But quiet didn’t have to mean boring.
Thinking about her allotted 15 minutes of exercise time and how that could get pretty mundane if she was just limited to the backyard, a great opportunity for fun presented itself. In an effort to keep things interesting for her, I mapped out four parks in the neighborhood where she could spend her daily 15 minutes of outdoor time. By alternating between the parks each day, she would always have new sights and smells to take in during each walk. I thought this exercise plan would be good for her spirit and help keep her mind active while her body got used to her new rhythm of life. The parks I selected were not strenuous walks as far as exertion level and each one was entirely unique with different highlights to offer.
One was a small wooded pocket park that looked like something straight out of a Jane Austen movie with its clipped hedges and grass pathways that weaved and wandered around several acres of partially tended nature gardens. Another one was a mile-long recreation track frequented by an array of neighborhood pups that brought their own scents and smells to the park. Since she wasn’t allowed to play around with other dogs over the summer, I thought this level of scented interaction might make her feel like she was still part of the pack.
The third park was the grounds of a historic 1920s-era estate complete with a Gatsby-style mansion and formal rose gardens to match.
And finally, the fourth was a lush, grassy athletic field surrounded by walking paths, wildflowers, and an abundance of native plantings.
Every day, just before sunset, when the air started to cool and the bright light of day started to dim, Indie and I would get in the car and head to one of the four parks.
Always excited to embark on these adventures, the nightly walks turned out to be a star activity for both of us. We rarely encountered any other pups or people on these jaunts which was good because anything that got her barking or her heart racing in excitement was a no-no. In place of meeting other humans and dogs, we met nature instead, in all of her interesting and diverse forms.
The slow pace was conducive to stopping and smelling everything and anything that brushed by Indie’s nose. On each outing, we took in the sights, the scents, and the sounds all around us. We noticed the birds, the rabbits, the trees, the bees. We looked up at the clouds and down at the grass. We smelled the air and listened to the breeze blow through the leaves. It was wonderfully relaxing. And even though it was just 15 minutes a day, each walk felt like its own quiet adventure.
Some days, I extended the 15-minute allotment. If the air was cool enough and if Indie was especially enjoying her time, we would find a spot to sit still for just a few minutes longer to marvel at the sight of a colorful sunset, or a herd of grazing deer, or the wildflowers dancing with the wind. In those moments, I liked seeing the pretty things around us, but what I really liked was watching Indie watching the world.
Even though my mind and my heart were always set on the long game of Indie living with this new normal for years to come, I was very conscious of the possibility that these days, these walks, could be the last times too. This turned out to be a very welcome understanding. Not knowing when our final time to say goodbye might come forced me to be present for each moment we had together. It forced me to really appreciate what life meant and felt like with her in it.
Bittersweet but very beautiful, these walks with Indie each night were full of hope, joy, love, and admiration because she was always so full of hope, joy, love and admiration. Big heart or not, nothing got in the way of a chance to say Yes! to whatever situation presented itself. She was such a wise and wonderful teacher that way.
On the 4th of July Indie celebrated her 11th birthday. Although we never knew her actual birth date we celebrated it on the holiday since that was the day she bounded into our yard in 2014. I named her Indie in honor of Independence Day and the independent spirit that tends to come naturally attached to all wanderers and travelers. When she arrived, so happy to be there, she was full-size and fully grown. The vet roughly estimated that she was about a year old based on her teeth and her paw pads.
For the next three months, we did our best to find out where she might have come from, so that we could send her back home to her owners. To my surprise and great delight, no one ever called or came for her. Just like these past three months of 2024, those three months in 2014 were spent understanding and appreciating her remarkable personality. Hanna had always been an old soul of a dog… calm, contemplative, and almost human-like in her ability to connect with other people. She didn’t care much for other dogs or dog-like activities, instead Hanna much preferred the total companionship of people. Indie, on the other hand, loved everybody and everything. She was fresh-faced, curious, jubilant, outgoing, spritely. A bright light, a shiny star. This was her first weekend with us…
Flash forward 10 years later to this 4th of July, Indie was still just as happy to be spending time with us and our grill. We celebrated her 2024 birthday with grass-fed beef burgers, strawberry goat cheese bruschetta, and an outdoor dinner at the greenhouse.
In addition to the walks and her birthday celebration, we did a variety of other things with her over the summer too. We included as many of her favorites as her big heart would allow. There were trips to our local Dairy Serv for vanilla ice cream. There were pup cup runs to Starbucks. There were endless bowls of ice-cold water at our favorite outdoor pizza spot. There were Sunday drives, picnics in the grass, naps in the hammock, and late-night grill dinners on the patio. She spent time with me in the garden, with my husband in the workshop, and with her favorite tree in the yard.
The end of July brought a road trip to a specialty vet hospital in Rhode Island where she had an echocardiogram to give us more insight into her condition and to make sure she was on the right track with her medications. We made a fun adventure out of it, stopping for lunch and to see the elephant migration sculptures in Newport. There, she settled down next to a baby elephant like it was her new best friend.
The results of the echocardiogram were what our vet expected – more specific details about her acute heart disease. We soldiered on with the medicine routine. The fluid finally moved out of her lungs and heart, she got rid of her cough and she lost 12 lbs. Although the vet wasn’t too concerned about the weight drop, I really was. I could feel her spine, as you do with many older dogs, and her sides were beginning to feel ribby – indicators that I had always relied on in the past to signal when I needed to feed her more or less food. Determined to bring back some of those lost pounds I got to work crafting all sorts of new meals for her.
Even though she still had plenty of energy, a good appetite and a shiny, happy personality during the entire summer, her eating habits were changing. We went from her usual regular-sized two-meal-a-day plan (breakfast and dinner) to three small meals (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). And while always a good vegetable eater in the past, in August, she began to develop a particular affinity for larger amounts of protein with smaller amounts of grain and vegetables on the side. Between her likes and my determination to find foods that would feed her body and her spirit, we waded our way through many trial-and-error recipes.
Canned mackerel good. Canned tuna better. Collards great. Black beans no thank you. Chicken okay. Fresh salmon best. Cherry tomatoes from the garden good. Green beans from the grocery store bad. Avocado good. Split peas great. Oatmeal bad. Quinoa yes! Finally, we arrived at a handful of reliable new recipes that left her bowl spotless after each meal just like in the before times. I was getting ready to share two of these new recipes here on the blog this month because she loved them so much. One was a grass-fed beef stew that swam in a puddle of unsweetened coconut milk and the other was a batch of chicken meatballs stuffed with quinoa, herbs, and sweet potatoes.
Because we went down lots of culinary avenues this summer looking for new combinations of foods to nourish her, she stayed close by my side while I cooked. The ever-enthusiastic gourmand that she was had her taste testing with that indelible enthusiasm right up to the very end. Her last meal was the chicken meatball recipe finally perfected.
I’d like to say that Indie had a lot of bravery during these past few months, but that wouldn’t be true. She never showed any outward signs that she was struggling, or feeling weary, or slowly breaking down. She still smiled when she slept – an endearing thing that she did from day one. She still cuddled with us on the couch at any given opportunity, and she still wanted to go anywhere we wanted to go too. She didn’t mind taking twelve different pills throughout the day. She didn’t mind the slow-down summer or the fact that she was leash-bound for most it. She continued to wholeheartedly love car rides, love rolling around on her back in the grass, love napping in the sun, love keeping the squirrels in check, love being petted and fawned over by anyone, and love trying all the foods we offered her. Even when she coughed at the beginning, she’d go through the act for a few seconds and then move on to more interesting activities like it was no big deal. Like there was more fun stuff to encounter in life than that silly scenario. So a brave face wasn’t what she gave us over the summer. She gave us hope. In seeing her not feeling so bad about anything, we in turn didn’t feel so bad either, which is how we came to love and appreciate these last few months with her in the same way that we loved and appreciated her throughout her life. It was the unexpected gift that she always was. A happy spirit greeting each new day with an abundance of joy no matter what.
The end came swift and fast, and left us unprepared emotionally for the reality of a moment that I thought was far, far away in our future. I’ll spare you the details of her last few hours only to say that she left us quickly and peacefully cuddled in the arms of my husband and I, still very much in love with life, just sadly, out of breath.
The loss we feel by her absence is immense. To say we are heartbroken is an understatement. Indie was such a giant presence in our lives and in the Vintage Kitchen. All very fitting for a pup with a giant heart. Over these past three days, my husband and I have begun putting her things away. Washing and wrapping up her blankets and her toys, her bedding, and her scarves. The one thing I can’t put away yet is her Bone Apetit food bowl. To me, it is as much a part of Indie as her fuzzy ears and her cropped tail – that delightful nubbin – that waved back and forth at any excitement. Her food bowl is the ultimate symbol of her epicurean ways. So many good times are wrapped up in it that right now it feels like if I put it away, I put her away, along with all those memories and all that love and all that joy too. So for now, we are leaving her bowls in their usual spot, clean and empty but ready, should she ever magically reappear in the same way as when she first arrived.
Until then, cheers to sweet, loveable, affable, enthusiastic Indie, our wonderful friend, our joyful gourmand, our incredible gift. Cheers to the power of Yes! And cheers to all the pups and their parents who became homemade dog food supporters by way of Indie’s most favorite recipe. May it continue to bring joy for many years to come.
If anyone would like a copy of the homemade dog food recipes for Grass-Fed Beef Stew or Chicken Meatballs Stuffed with Herbs, Sweet Potatoes and Quinoa please send us a message. I’ll be most happy to forward them along.
Update – October 2024
Thank you so much to everyone who sent private messages of love and sympathy regarding Indie’s passing. Your kind words have been such a comfort in the weeks, and now months, following her death. We still find the days to be very foreign without her, and mealtime is definitely not the same without our enthusiastic gourmand, but we are so grateful to this little Vintage Kitchen community for showing us so much kindness and support.
Since we have received so many requests for the two new recipes Indie wholeheartedly adored during her last weeks, I wanted to include them here. If you have any questions about them, please do not hesitate to reach out. Thanks again for being bright lights during such a difficult time. Much love to you and your pups. Hope they enjoy these recipes, just as much as Indie.
In the Vintage Kitchen: Where History Comes To Eat 